Can you not slip away

Can you not be like the rest and be gone.

Can you not say one day you care and just not put up with my shit anymore.

I don't know how I keep doing this.
This, calling someone a good friend thing.
They leave.

They aren't permanent to you.
Everyone is always temporary and pop up spontaneously.
There's nobody permanent to me.
There is no solitary wall to lean on. The wall keeps moving. And I'm tired of changing my position.
I'm tired of going back to the old comfy spots cause I just know its gonna move again and leave me falling down.. again.

How sure am I things will change when I go to uni?
It didn't change in form 6. It didn't change at work.

Is it so hard to have a permanent?

And the worst part about it is eventually, you start thinking.

Hey.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe I'm the one driving the walls away. Driving the comfort away. Maybe I'm causing the love to fade

And you don't know what to believe.

I miss you.
All of you.
All those walls.
I miss when I felt happy to be with you.
When I could trust you with all I had.

And not be let down.
Again.
And again.
And again.

Do you not care
Or am I too unworthy to be bothered about?

Am I that pathetic of a friend to drive what makes me happy away?

Do you care for me or my approval.
Do you care that I care?
Am I not caring enough for what you care?

What should we care about?

What is air?